My name is Lauren.
this is where i put my life stories into the web for you guys to read. =)
I'm 19 years of age. and i'm born in Janurary
Chapters.Pages.Paragraphs.
Monday, September 28, 2009 Today's another Monday..
Into the 5th week of the 6 weeks attachment. I guess i've learn as much as i've not expected to have. Many things have be taught and like a sponge i tried to soaked up as much as i can contain.
Like a sponge i've tried to be. Just absorbs and let it all out when it's time. But it's never been easy.
Emotions are a big part of my life nowadays. Talking about being emotional. I have been kind of used to it. So much so that it has become part of an everyday thing. Waking up realising that it's another day that he's not going to talk to me. Not contacting me. Not replying me. To cut of all communications with me. I've been reflecting every single time when i have a chance ever since that night you texted me your decision. It was you who taught me green is not an ugly colour afterall.
Songs..Creations that are ever so wonderful and so relatively so easy to relate your feelings and moods to. I just love 'em. They're just Gorgeous. =) Talking so. I've got this song from Kelly Clarkson. It's called "Already Gone"
Perhaps love is like a resting place A shelter from the storm It exists to give you comfort It is there to keep you warm And in those times of trouble When you are most alone The memory of love will bring you home
Perhaps love is like a window Perhaps an open door It invites you to come closer It wants to show you more And even if you lose yourself And don't know what to do The memory of love will see you through
Oh, Love to some is like a cloud To some as strong as steel
For some a way of living For some a way to feel
And some say love is holding on And some say letting go And some say love is everything And some say they don't know
Perhaps love is like the ocean Full of conflict, full of pain Like a fire when it's cold outside Thunder when it rains If I should live forever And all my dreams come true My memories of love will be of you
And some say love is holding on And some say letting go
And some say love is everything Some say they don't know
Perhaps love is like the ocean Full of conflict, full of pain Like a fire when it's cold outside Or thunder when it rains If I should live forever And all my dreams come true My memories of love will be of you
Monday, September 21, 2009 Today was a rainy Public Holiday.
Woke up feeling not quite right. Had a talk about friendship with Laura again. Cried.
Showered and head to Grandma's house after that for training.. Actually didn't really ran till like about 6? Coz Bleach was soo tempting!! haha..
Anyway did my promised..Ran 6 rounds and climbed up 16 stories of stairs. I think i'll run tml again..Not a thought but an effort i'm going to make. Coz i gotta be really ready for NAPFA. =( Damn just hoped that the people there are nice to guys. =X Now's left sit-ups,incline pull-ups, jumps shuttle run..
The Days seems to draw nearer day by day. But Time seems to crawl.
On Friday. Last day in Ward 39~~!! So wished it hadn't ended. Thank You for all the Guidance and Teaching and Imparting the skills to not only me but the 16 of us. I guess you guys have made a change in not only in your lives but our lives too. =)
Saturday. After what has happened. Went out to meet with Sandra, Shane, Jierou and Benn after my survey. Snap a pretty much amount of pictures. And it made me realised how much that Friends. One thing about them is thou sometimes they are not there when needed but there when you needed them the most. I guess sometimes it's just a person's willing-ness on something that they want it to happen or not. A choice as some might say.
Just a song for what i'm feeling and sings what i'm going through. Is it me ? Or is it why chinese songs are the songs that are so relative to what i'm feeling. Leading me to listen to them when i'm always feeling down,crumpling and lost.
Today i got results both for clinicals and exam's. For clinical: I got a B+. Wow. Feedback was: ".....please give others a chance....i know you're always proactive and all but please help each other...." Something which i think i overlooked this time. Maybe it's beacuse my objectives wern't clear in the first place. leading to such actions. For exam: I attained at GPA of 2.9219. Sounds Good huh? Then i realised that my Cumulative GPA: 2.3424. Wow! Totally gave me a 180 turn.
Now after some time being in what i've been. i'm trying to take it easy. not thinking too much. Though i still need to say: I've put in my most in this. I really don't want this to end. I've given you all that i can give. Provide you with all my might. Agreeing things that i've never did before. Talked and did what i've never thought i'll do in my life. I can say i have fall in love with you. And you? Not a respond? just solem answers when i tell you what's going wrong. (Did i do the right thing? I wonder) I was doing all that i can so that this day won't ever arrive. But it's coming. Please don't let it end just like this. =( I'll be lost in the ocean forever.
1:02 AM
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Today's Thursday. September 17th in the year 2009.
I did afternoon shift. While i was supposedly to be in Team 2 for the ward i've been in the past three weeks. But then i was being appointed to be in the High Dependency Area instead. High Depemdency as we all can tell that the words speaks a strict monitoring of the patients in the room itself. SO Yes i was being assigned to be in there. Doing stuffs such as Blood Transfusion Monitoring, Hourly Parameters, Hourly SMU (Safety Measured Urine), Setting up Drips for patients, transfering of patient etc. Well it might just seemed like a handful. But it really made me busy enough to have thought that ''Hey it's coming to the end of shift." But anyway it was true for the nurse who was in-charge to tell me that i'll be learning alot from her today. Which i did! (Thank You) =) Then i realised how fast time flies. As we all know time does files. Have you ever had this time of period where you are just begining to form a bond with the people that you've been working with? and then time comes and knocks on your door saying "it's time please move on". I think i'll miss the staffs from this ward. As i have to be going to another. Thinking back i was full of negative thoughts about being in this ward and wanting to get outta there asap. But now. I think i'm having second thoughts. =X
Anyway i've gotten them a card and a box of Ferror. =)
I think i'm getting boring. Like there's no photos to be up loaded nowadays in my blog. Which isn't something that is normal?? Coz i used to be a cam-whore! and takes photo about just anything that i feel like taking..
I used to see people having cameras and snapping like nobody's business. and when i look at how i take photos. it's all via my phone. Which is only of a 5 MegaPixle phone. Though i'm not grumbling what and how pictures are taken and their quality ( i don't really care) .
With scenes, places, people, emotions being captured in just a piece of evergreen memory that is capable of making someone's day or just bringing it down.
Now i'm listening to Timeless. A title so simple yet with many definitions.
Timeless love~
I was just thinking if only i'm not in Nursing. What will i be in? What will i be doing? Where am i now?
Baby cried the day the circus came to town 'cause she didn't want parades just passin' by her So she painted on a smile and took up with some clown While she danced without a net upon the wire I know a lot about 'er 'cause, you see Baby is an awful lot like me
Don't cry out loud Just keep it inside, learn how to hide your feelings Fly high and proud And if you should fall, remember you almost had it all
Baby saw that when they pulled that big top down They left behind her dreams among the litter The different kind of love she thought she'd found There was nothin' left but sawdust and some glitter But baby can't be broken 'cause you see She had the finest teacher-that was me-I told 'er
Don't cry out loud Just keep it inside and learn how to hide your feelings Fly high and proud And if you should fall, remember you almost had it all
Don't cry out loud Just keep it inside and learn how to hide your feelings Fly high and proud And if you should fall, remember you almost made it
Don't cry out loud Just keep it inside and learn how to hide your feelings Fly high and proud And if you should fall, remember you almost had it all
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Today's a Sunday. Another week that's here that i have to be in. *heaves a sigh*
To think that i'm pretty heartless to have forgotten my own sister's birthday.. =X and i didn't know about it till the next day. oh well see i told ya i'm tired and stressed up and can't be bothered with people when attachment starts. i mean not that i'd want to but it's un avoidable.
I spent the whole day at home on Saturday at grand's house playing maple and the Sunday with friend to spend time before starting this week over again.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Today. Finally a Thursday! Meaning a week is almost passing.
And me?
Well i don't know. I guess life is still pretty much the same.
Last night was a disaster. I can't say how much i feel right now in words. Because i just feel that i'm going to loose something in my life that's really important. Somthing that's going to be my worst nightmare. I don't want any changes in my life anymore!! i just want things to be just the same and mundane as 1st August.
I'm listening to a song called "Smile" and i'm not even doing so. Why so?? Why is such thing happeneing right now!? I'm at a total loss of things to do to make you feel better right now. How am i suppose to know when you keep all to yourself. You've said you love me and you miss me. Now?! Do you still do that?! I'm begaining to doubt myself about your words.
